Andy Capable

I've always wondered why nobody was ever pissed about Andy Capp, the licensed Hot Fries spokeswhore. Well let me tell ya, I've been incensed all these years while I been lovin' me some delicious, crunchy, corn-potato-y snackies. (Side note: I was born in 1971 and so were Andy Capp's Hot Fries - We Belong Together.) Anyway, back to the issue at hand. If you know me, you know that I ooze political correctness from every fiber of my being, and I'm utterly offended that his name has yet to be changed to Andy Capable. Wait. I think I may have finally found my calling. My cause. My purpose. Is this law material? Andy is hot as shit, and I don't think he looks like a retard at all. Not one iota. Okay. Maybe a little dumb in the head, yeah, but that doesn't make you retarded. Does it? At least not everyone. Right? Hmm. I wonder who would win in a bowling match? Andy Capp or Wimpy? I 'spose it would depend on their handicaps. Ba-dump-bump. I know. Had to take a cheap shot, even while discussing something serious. What in sam hell is my problem?

(This snack is generally classed as junk food. It also includes the preservative TBHQ which may be harmful in large quantities. Damn it. There I am, fucked again. And do you think it's a coinkydink that the harmful preservative starts with my initials? Tony B Head Quarters, perhaps? This is all starting to freak my shit out.)