What is wrong with people?

Last night I ate dinner with my really good friend Ruth and she gave me her new business card. Her title is Associate. I first told her that she put the ass in associate. Hardy har har. So funny you forgot to laugh. I know. I've used that joke a hundred too many times with any word that begins with ass. So sue me. Then go fuck yourself. Just kidding. Please don't sue me.

Then I got to thinking. I became highly offended. Flabbergasted in fact. This is an abomination! That is really an offensive title. Let me break it down fer ya. Associate. Sound it out, stupid. Ass-o-she-ate. Poor "I'm-not-going-to-take-this-lying-down" Ruth for having to accept this crap from her place of employment. Whores deserve respect! Also, depending on your preferred pronunciation, it can be ass-o-shit, which quite frankly makes me just as sick. Aren't people disgusting? Now, I ain't no law-er or anything (calling Star Jones, calling Gloria Allred, CALLING NANCY GRACE), but I think Ruth may have a lawsuit on her hands. I don't know about you but I'm seein dolla $ign$. Show me the money!

(I know this image doesn't exactly make sense, but isn't it adorable? And what does that mean? Two girls one cup. Either way, I'd like to get in on some of that cup action. Looks fun. Yeah...until you blow chunks of course. Yuck. I hate blowin chunks. Of all the things you can blow, chunks are the worst! Ho Chunks, on the other hand, they're my favorite Indian. Obviously just cuz of the name. I don't really care about Indians so much.)