I had a dream

Ever hear the expression at the end of the world all there will be left will be cockroaches and Cher? Well, whether you did or not, I woke up recently in a cold sweat with the feeling of impending doom. I dreamt that Jesus stepped down from his cross to smash a cockroach under his stigmatic foot while simultaneously pistol-whipping Cher. With a rib! Not Adam's rib used to create Eve, not Cher's rib she allegedly had removed ages ago, but a pork rib dripping in sauce. Thick, dark colored, barbeque sauce. Now here's the scary part. It appeared that Miss Cher was wearing my jeans. The very pair that I had laid out to wear to work the next day. I startled myself awake shouting, "bitch better not get any stains on my favorite fucking jeans!" Dear God, lead my jeans from temptation and deliver them from evil -- safely and stain-free.

(Btw, my favorite jeans are APC New Standard (raw denim). Make sure they really fit and wear them for a year before even considering washing them. During that time, keep them in the freezer. It eliminates any odor. When you are ready to wash, briefly soak them in a sink with Woolite Black and air dry. They turn out amazing. You can also dry clean, but beware that dry cleaning changes the wash of your jeans because they do spray with a chemical. Maybe try dry cleaning them inside out? I have yet to try that.)