Em Bare Ass Ing

Who put the ass in embarrass?

Me does!

I was thinking about a recent embarrassing moment that just made me chuckle. A few weeks back I took my first trip to Vegas. I will never go back, but that's a-whole-nother story. I went to check my bag - a leather duffel - not very big at all. The woman asked me - actually almost insisted that I carry it on. I didn't properly prepare for my fight, and knew my products would preclude me from bringing the bag on the plane. The conversation went like this:

Attendant: You will be carrying that bag on, right?

Me: No. I need to check it.

Attendant: Why?

Me: (hesitates) Products.

Attendant: What kind of products?

Me: FOOT CREAM and HAIRSPRAY

As soon as those words came flying out of my mouth, I looked around. There were many nearby fellow travelers who seemed to be listening to my conversation. And laughing. Obviously not with me, right? Foot cream and hairspray? Who says that? More importantly, what guy travels with large quantities of foot cream and hairspray? I did/do, and it wasn't for athlete's foot or anything like that. It was a big tube of peppermint foot cream. Why do I even own that? More importantly, couldn't I have thought of something much better or more interesting to say? Darn it. I was caught off guard and answered honestly. Come to think of it, I could have spent the $15 it cost to check the bag ($30 round trip) on new foot cream and hairspray. Geez Louise! Stupes I tell ya. The whole lot of it.