Spooning with the Homeless

I thought of a new movement. It's kinda like Hands Across America , but it's more charitable. It's called Spooning with the Homeless. It's more than just a mere handout, it's giving your ENTIRE body. It came to me one moonlit night on my home after being out for a while, and maybe I was feeling a bit amorous - I don't know - but right in front of my very eyes in the middle of the sidewalk was the most soiled mattress that someone was ACTUALLY throwing away! Well laying on that mattress was a homeless guy, but he had a cast on his foot. I thought to myself, "now that's refreshing." It was nice to see he was getting the medical attention he deserved, but I remember thinking "I'd bet all the money in my wallet that the one thing he was most starved for was affection." So, as the bittersweet smell of urine from days passed scented the crisp air, I kittenishly curled up to him - from behind - wrapped my arm around his body and nuzzled my nose right into the bloody scab on the back of his head, and passed out! I was drunk. I was blind drunk. When daybreak came, I woke up alone with an empty wallet and a tattered note nearby that read GET OFF MY ASS! And I thought, "oh darn it, he must have forgotten his to do list."

I tried to find a funny homeless picture, but guess what? Homeless pictures are not funny. Not at all.