Saturday, April 18, 2009

Do these look like the toes of a homeless woman?

There's this homeless lady that suddenly has become a fixture of the neighborhood. Sometimes she sits on the stoop and begs for money, and often I give her a little somethin' when I walk past. I must say if it keeps up, I may claim her as a dependent on my next tax return. (See? I can have dependents too!) Anyway, I just went out to walk the dog, and I overheard her saying, "Oooooohweeeeee. Oooooohweeeeee. I Like the summertime. I liiiike summertime. Allll the handsome men walking by." Meanwhile, it was just me and like two other homeless dudes. The clincher: she WASN'T talking about me...and I give her money! The fact of the matter is I'm not fully convinced that she's homeless. Yes, she's a mess, but I recently caught a glimpse of her toes. How many homeless women wear sandals and have nicely pedicured toenails? Can't be more than ten percent, right? So then, I guess maybe.

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