Fartha Pooart #2

Okay. So I have locked myself out of numerous apartments numerous times taking my dog out to do his thing. It's true. I'm a glutton for punishment because I never seem to learn my lesson. On one very unfortunate occasion it happened in the middle of the night. It was 3 A.M. "Jesus. Really? Is this happening to me right now? Why me? Of course me. Who else but me? Happening. Now. Me." In Los Angeles I lived in a courtyard building and the manager lived two doors down. Easy. Fifty bucks got me in any time, any day. Here, during normal business hours I would be able to somehow get in touch with the management and get in free of charge, but what could I do at 3:00a? I had no other choice but to call a locksmith. Of course - ummm - that would have been nice if I had my phone. Yeah. I didn't have my phone either. I didn't have my keys. I didn't have have my wallet. Why would I have all that? I was wearing pajama bottoms, I had my dog and I had a plastic bag. PJs in the middle of the night in Crown Heights Brooklyn with a chihuahua. You don't need to be a mathematician to know this equals the sum of all shit. But wait, it gets worse (or better depending on how you look at things). In order to call the locksmith I had wake a neighbor to buzz me in the building so I could use his phone and wait in his apartment for the locksmith's arrival. I know. Embarrassing and awkward to say the least. Finally, $300 later - THREE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS LATER! - I was back safely in my apartment.

Here's my Fartha Pooart tip. Attach a house key to your dog's collar if you have to take your dog out to do crappy times. This way you'll never be without your key. Of course, if you just let your dog out in the yard, this may not be such a good idea. One, he can't use it to let himself in, and two, someone else may. You're Welcoooome!